And so it begins...
And so it was beseeched, and so it shall be... For so it had been written on the great Motown tablets of yore that, "we are, in fact, onto something big". After much coersion, great trials & tribulations, and the harpies, oh god the harpies! My friend Doug (thog) has finally convinced me to unleash my peculiarities onto the unsuspecting.It began with his birth. It was a difficult birth, but I managed to effectively withdraw him from my thigh. From that day forward he learned quickly, and promptly posted many of the links for which he had been tutored. I was predominately absent throughout his adolesence, and I blame myself for all the small animals that fell victim to his megalomania. For it had been fated, that I be executing ironic punishments in Hades through his formative years.
So, whatta ya' do?!?
We have since reconciled the past, and effectively tortured our livers in commensalism while discordantly yodeling Whiskeytown tunes. And now it's back to business: fornicating, torturing, and just simply titillating ourselves with the psychological torture we can impose through our self-indulgant actions.
This site shall evolve as I evolve, haphazardly and with innumerable beguiling delusions...
To be continued...
posted by ebola_poptarts @ 10:07 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
OH MY GOD, & yes I am referring to you, "Mr." Tarts. Although I find the emotional dedication to the exposure of my innermost secrets most touching, I regret to inform you that the lack of foresight you excercised has irrevocably changed the course of future events FOR THE WORSE!!! You have accomplished this (smugly, I am certain) via two roads simutaneously. The first being that by carelessly exposing my weakness to the greater world,you have left me no choice but to dedicate all my energy & ambition to strengthening these flaws. Ultimately, of course, this will render me invinsable. Secondly, by so openly exhibiting your emotions to the world, you have exposed to me your sensitivety. I would have once been satisfied gaining power equal to yours, shining over all, brilliantly by your side. NO MORE! Your weakness has pulled the veil from my eyes. I now see that you are not omnipotent as I once believed. It is without question that I will not only learn the skills necessary to rise to your side as an equal, but that i shall overcome you, sapping your energy for my own nourishment until you lie frail and broken at my feet, helpless to defend the baby squirrels that I have rallied together before you just to die a horrible, agonizing, deaeth. Yes, the fiaal sounds you will hear before the Great Oraphus engulfs you will be their tortured shrieks combined with thier gnashing teeth.
"And so it begins" indeed.
This makes my maenads ache... You and your mother, although which one's yours, I don't recall... but I'm sure I've since turned her into a cow, or something... Or perhaps, she did that on her own?
I'm getting too old for this. Why can't you be more like Poseidon's kid, huh? He just herds sheep, and eats sailors.
You know, a straight job wouldn't hurt ya', either!
And please stop raining dead squirrels on the town-folk. Plagues are such a tired cliche'.
And please, please, please I can't emphasize this enough... Spelling, always double-check your spelling! You're a demigod, for Christ-sakes! You've got everyone thinking we're a bunch of celestial hicks.
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